How I “survive” traveling with babies and small children

So far I’ve been on over a dozen flights with either one or two children under the age of 2, some of which were by myself. I haven’t attempted a solo flight with the two of them yet, but that’ll be on the books soon. Traveling with kids, especially young kids that are toddlers or babies, can sound overwhelming. As long as you plan ahead, there’s plenty of things you can do to set yourself up for a smooth trip with your little ones. Here are my thoughts on traveling with kids, and some tips on how I “survive” flying with babies and small children.

It’s funny, as parents, we travel in some way with our kids almost every day. Whether we go to the store, the playground, an event, or wherever. But we get nervous when traveling with other people around, especially in an enclosed space like an airplane. Every single time I’ve flown with the kids, I’ve been nervous that it’ll go awry. But, every single time, it goes fine and we all make it there in one piece. Yes, they get fussy, but it usually lasts a few minutes at most.

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Stop caring what strangers think

As parents, we’ve been taught to care what other people think about our parenting skills, and that our child’s behavior is a direct reflection of those skills. And maybe that’s true sometimes, but I’ve seen great parents with some BAD kids, and bad parents with great kids. We need to stop worrying what other people might think about us if our child has a meltdown in public. Meltdowns happen. Temper tantrums are common with little tiny humans who are trying to figure out how to be civilized and follow all these rules we’ve thrown at them. Most people who have children know this. And if they say their kids didn’t do that, they’re lying or have selective memory. I would bet that every single person on this planet has thrown a temper tantrum or two at some point in time.

Then we have these parents who get on the news for making little “sorry in advance” bags of ear plugs or candy when they’re traveling with kids. It’s a cute idea, but it’s just reinforcing this expectation that flying with kids is miserable for everyone and something you should apologize for. And that just isn’t the case. If you have a colicky baby or a child with special needs that you know for a fact is probably going to scream the whole time, then maybe it’s a nice gesture to consider. But even then, it’s absolutely ridiculous to apologize to people for traveling with your child. Parents have places to go, people to see, and things to do too.

Kids on planes aren’t even that noticeable

Traveling is stressful for many adults, so of course it’s going to be stressful for a child that is having their routine switched on them and going to a different place with a lot of people. If your kid does have a meltdown in public, good news is that you probably won’t ever see any of those people again. Also, next time you’re on a plane with a baby or small children, pay attention to if you can even hear them during the flight. I’ve noticed that unless you’re sitting within a row or two of a child, the sound of the plane will be louder than any noise they make. There’s usually at least a few small children or babies on planes nowadays, and the majority of the time, no one notices after takeoff.

Granted, like I said above, my kids are generally good travelers. And we usually only have small crying fits as we’re waiting for take off, not in the air. But I can always tell people are terrified when they start crying before we even take off. I’m sure they’re thinking “Oh my gosh I can’t believe she has a crying toddler on this plane… I knew I shouldn’t have sat in a row near kids. I’m going to have to listen to it the whole flight.” If you know anything about babies, you know that’s usually not how it works. Everything is a phase, including crying. A simple distraction can turn a kicking and screaming child into a quiet little angel in a matter of seconds.

Tips for traveling with babies and toddlers

1. Come prepared

This is a no brainer, but of course it’s at the top of the list. It’s better to be over-prepared than underprepared when traveling with children. I usually bring too much stuff with me for the kids that doesn’t get used, but I’ve had situations where it does all get used and I was grateful to have it. Like when our flight was cancelled and a 2.5hr travel day turned into a 10hr travel day + lost luggage. And don’t forget to restock for the trip back!

• Bring at least one change of clothes (a simple onesie, socks and pants will due and don’t take up much room).

• Pack plenty of wipes, and some extra diapers in case your flight gets delayed or you get stuck on the runway or your luggage gets lost. Or if your baby has a blowout and it gets on the new diaper (yes, this is a thing). These things happen. Make sure you have extra diapers! You can use wipes for more than diaper changes too. You can wipe down faces, hands, the seats, blow noses, etc.

• Put all non-solids in a clear ziplock bag to take out for security. This includes baby food jars or pouches. I just put all of the snack items in a bag so it’s easier to find later on, but it also makes it easier to pull out for security to check. Side note for pumping moms: you can bring breastmilk through security. Just tell them you have breastmilk when you get up there, and pull it out for them to see. I usually make sure there’s 3.5oz or less, but if you have more, they just do a quick check to make sure it’s actually breastmilk. And don’t worry, the way they check does not insert anything into your milk or compromise the milk.

2. Distract, distract, distract!

Small children have a short attention span, so bring plenty of distractions to keep them busy. It is especially hard when they’re babies who are in that phase where they don’t know or care what most things are. But usually they’ll be happy just being held and talked to and fed most of the time. We have a small backpack for our toddler that we pack with little things to keep her busy. She likes carrying it, and it doesn’t take up any extra room in our luggage, so it’s a win-win. Some things I like to pack in that backpack include:

• Melissa & Doug Water Wow! Coloring Books (sold at Target and Amazon, and other places too, I’m sure) are reusable, no-mess coloring books that we L-O-V-E! They come with a brush pen that you fill with a little water and when they color with the brush, the pages turn into colored pictures. They also have educational versions for older kids learning letters and numbers. As it dries, the color fades and then can be colored again and again. And they’re only $5!
• Target dollar section and the Dollar Store usually have some great, inexpensive finds that will keep them busy for a little while. I like the seasonal kid’s toys in the dollar section, and they also usually have the magic marker coloring books. The key for me is little-to-no mess. And magic markers only work on special paper, so there’s no mess to wipe up if they start coloring elsewhere.
• Post-It notes are also an easy, inexpensive distraction that will last a while. You can let them stick them wherever, or draw on them, or you can write letters or numbers on the paper for them to identify. There’s plenty of options and they’re easy to clean up.
• Play Doh is the biggest hit with our toddler the past few flights we’ve taken. Now, she is not super messy with Play Doh, and we watch her most of the time to make sure it doesn’t get smeared in the floor or seats. So, this may not work for every kid. But we buy the small containers of it and bring 2-3 colors for her to play with on the tray table.
• LOTS of snacks! I usually pack her favorite snack, which is currently M&Ms or goldfish, in her bag too so she can “find it” when she’s digging around in there.
• Favorite toy: We have also been bringing along her favorite baby doll lately. This gives her something to play with, but is also something familiar from home.

3. Ease up on the rules a little (aka “chillax”)

I don’t mean to let them run amok or destroy everything in sight. But like I said, traveling is stressful for a lot of people, and especially kids who are excited and out of their element. So, try to be understanding and relax. Kids feed off of your energy, and the calmer you are, the calmer and more likely to listen they will be. Remember that your focus is your child and their happiness and wellbeing, not the happiness of some overdressed businessman or woman staring you down because your kid is rolling on the floor at the terminal.

4. Consider buying them a seat

Most airlines allow children under the age of 2 to fly for free as a lap infant. They will be expected to sit on your lap the entire flight, and don’t get any extra luggage allowances. Depending on your child’s temperament, this may or may not be a good idea for you. Yes, it sucks paying full price (or close to it) for your small child to fly, so taking advantage of free airfare while you can is very appealing.

• I’ve had different experiences with both kids when they were babies. One was totally content in the car seat and would sit in it the entire flight as long as they were fed and entertained before falling asleep. It was no different than riding in the car. I was happy to pay to guarantee a seat for a cross-country flight by myself. Then, the other baby absolutely hated the car seat, and the one flight I brought it on (because there were open seats, I didn’t pay for the ticket, luckily) he didn’t sit in it for more than 10 minutes because he wanted to be held.

• So, if you know your child won’t stay in their own seat, or car seat for infants, then don’t bother buying a ticket. But, if your kid likes doing their own thing or it sounds really unappealing having a 25lb moving toddler climbing all over you for a long flight, definitely consider spending the extra money to guarantee them their own space. Or, take a risk and maybe there will be an open seat in your row and they’ll get their own seat for free. I’ve definitely done that too.

• Also note: if you do choose to fly with a lap infant, they will obviously not be strapped in unless you buy a special harness beforehand (like this one). This can be a safety issue if your plane hits turbulence, which could really happen at anytime. I am always extra cautious when traveling with a lap infant and make sure my seatbelt is fastened as long as I’m sitting. I also make sure to maintain a good hold on them, especially on takeoff and landing, or if the captain says it’s about to get bumpy.

5. Sit near other families

There’s safety in numbers, right? Unless you have a reason to sit in a specific area of the plane, keep an eye out for other families when boarding, and try to sit around them. Not necessarily right by them, but in the same area. At least you know that if your kid has a meltdown, the people around you will totally relate. And vice versa. It also will also help the people mentioned above (that think parents with small children should stay locked in their house the first several years) pick a seat far away from the “family zone”.

This can backfire sometimes though if your child gets woken up by someone else having a crying fit. So, if you know your child will probably be sleeping most of the time, I would suggest not sitting in that area, just in case.

6. Get a “fast pass” for the airport

When we went to Las Vegas a few weeks ago, we left the morning that “snowmageddon” hit Seattle. (You can read about our trip here.) It took us 4x longer than usual to get to the airport, and we got there barely 30 minutes before our flight was scheduled to take off. Luckily, we had Clear, which allowed us to skip to the front of the 75+ person deep line at security. And we made it to our gate within 10 minutes of getting to the airport. Our flight ended up being delayed… and then cancelled. But, if it had taken off on time, we wouldn’t have made it without Clear.

Clear is basically a service you pay an annual fee for that uses your biometrics (eyes and fingerprints) to act as your identification. Usually at the security checkpoint, you wait in a line to hand the TSA agent your boarding pass and identification (usually a drivers license). After they confirm that you are the person on the boarding pass, you then go through the scanners. The longest part of the checkpoint is that line leading up to the agent to verify identity. And long lines with small children are never ideal. So, Clear has come up with a system to bypass that part and get you through security faster. It works with Pre Check as well, making the experience even faster.

This is obviously not an expense everyone can afford, and it’s a little pricey. Children under 18 don’t have to buy an annual pass and can use the Clear lane with you for free. So, if you plan on traveling several times over the year, especially with children, definitely consider getting Clear to make your travel experience as smooth as possible. They usually have a free trial, either 2 or 3 months (look online for their current promotion). You don’t have to invest in a whole year if it’s not for you. But, you could do the free trial and then cancel before the yearly renewal kicks in.

Enjoy it while you can

Just remember, being a parent is hard sometimes, so give yourself a break and don’t sweat the small stuff. A few hours on a plane with your kid, even if they’re acting up, is just a few hours of your day or week and you’ll get through it. Come prepared, and there will be less things to stress about when things come up throughout your trip.

Traveling with babies and small children is exhausting, even when they’re perfectly behaved. You have to be “on” the whole time. I’ve caught myself reminiscing on recent flights of when a flight across the country meant a few hours of sleep and catching up on some movies I hadn’t seen. Neither of which happen when traveling with kids, unless they’re sleeping, which is usually on you, so it’s hard to sleep. But on the flip side, it’s fun experiencing these things with them, and teaching them new things along the way. And I know one day I will be sitting on a plane in silence and wishing for my little one to crawl across my lap to look out the window.

xx

Kirsten

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