8 Things You Should Know About Pregnancy

There’s a lot of information out there about pregnancy, from the internet, or books, or friends. Though I’m always surprised by how much people, especially women, don’t know about pregnancy. I’ve learned so much from my two pregnancies, but I know there’s plenty I still don’t know. Here are 8 things I’ve learned about pregnancy through my own experiences, or those of my friends, that I think all women should be aware of.

Getting pregnant can be tricky

Before I even get into pregnancy-related topics, understand that it is not always easy to get pregnant. It’s pretty amazing so many people do, to be honest. The window for a pregnancy to actually occur is very small. And a lot of different things have to fall into place for it to happen. Did you know that once you have ovulated, the egg that is produced is only good for 12-24 hours? But since sperm can live for up to a week, they could be ready to pounce right when the egg is released. I won’t go into details, but here’s a good article about ovulation.  Once you understand the science behind getting pregnant, you’ll probably think how crazy it is that unexpected pregnancies occur, while other people try to get pregnant for years with no success.

Trust your doctor

My biggest piece of advice to everyone who is, or trying to become, pregnant, is to find a good doctor! A good doctor will make ALL the difference throughout your pregnancy and birth. Just because you like your OBGYN that you see once a year for a quick checkup, doesn’t mean they’ll be the right doctor for prenatal care. Whether you want an Obstetrician or a midwife, do your research and decide what style best aligns with your wants. Then, find a doctor or practice that YOU like and trust. Check reviews, join some local mom groups online and read about their experiences with specific doctors, and then make your appointment and see how it goes.

Pregnancy and childbirth can already be very stressful events. So, having a doctor you don’t like, or are constantly second guessing their opinions, will only hurt your overall experience. And don’t be afraid to change doctors if your current doctor isn’t meeting your needs and expectations! The farther along you get, the harder it can be to get in with a new doctor, so if you’re not feeling it, it’s best to make a change sooner than later to ensure you get the experience you want.

You will hear everyone’s birth and pregnancy stories

You will hear way too many pregnancy and birth stories from friends, family and strangers. And I am sure you’ll probably hear some of them twice! Regardless of what that story is, just know that their experiences will probably have very little similarities to yours.

It’s really easy to hear someone’s horror story of a birth and let it get in your head that the same thing could happen to you. I am telling you, DON’T DO THAT TO YOURSELF. Your story will be very different than all (or most) that you hear. The only person’s advice and opinion about your pregnancy that should matter is yours and your doctors. (As mentioned above, make sure you have a doctor that you like!)

Miscarriages can happen to anyone

Unfortunately, miscarriages happen in around 1 in 4 pregnancies, and the vast majority happen before 12 weeks, and most of those happen before 6 weeks, when some people don’t even know they are pregnant yet. That’s why a lot of people don’t officially announce their pregnancy until 13 weeks, when they are out of the first trimester and the risk goes down significantly. Miscarriage was previously considered a taboo subject, but over the past few years, people have been more open about talking about their experiences, and the “rainbow babies” that follow. This has changed the stigma surrounding miscarriages, and people are now understanding how common they are and that they can happen to anyone. Chances are, you know at least one person that has had a miscarriage.

Once you call your doctor to setup your appointment, they usually won’t see you until you’re at least 8 weeks along. Some doctors won’t see you until later. Ultrasounds usually can’t detect a heartbeat until you’re 6 weeks along, and even then, sometimes it can take a little longer for the heartbeat to be visible. Those extra 2 weeks are a good buffer so they can get a solid reading and not accidentally diagnose a miscarriage. After 6 weeks and the heartbeat has been confirmed, the risk of miscarriage goes down significantly, and even less once you get to 13 weeks. If you do have a miscarriage, just know that the chance of having multiple miscarriages is very low, and you have a good chance of getting pregnant again and carrying to term. And don’t be afraid to talk about your experience. A lot of people have gone through it, and are willing to listen and help you through it. Here’s some more info about miscarriages.

Baby might have a different birth plan

Unless you have a scheduled c-section, you can’t plan how or when your baby will come out. You might have an unmedicated, hour-long labor and water birth, or you might have a 36-hour labor that ends in a c-section, or you might have your baby in the car on the way to the hospital. You never know! Especially when it’s your first birth, no one knows how your body or baby will react to labor. Try to remember that the end goal is healthy baby and healthy mom, and however that can happen, is the best way. Once again, find a doctor you like and trust to help you through these major decisions and events.

If you’re a planner like I am, it can be really hard not knowing what’s going to happen. But, chances are, if you “plan out” your birth, it will most likely NOT go according to your plan. And you will probably end up disappointed or feeling like a failure, despite having accomplished something amazing. Having an idea of what you would like to happen is great, and being informed of your options is a must, but understanding and accepting that your baby may come out a different way will help you in the long run. And, if you happen to be the 2% who do get their perfectly planned birth, then that’s great too.

Baby might be “measuring big”

Ultrasound measurements are not always accurate. In fact, a lot of the time they can be off by up to 2 pounds in either direction. Meaning that they could estimate that your baby is measuring 8.5 pounds, but they might actually be as small as 6.5 pounds or as big as 10.5 pounds. And there’s a big difference between birthing a 10.5lb baby and an 8.5lb baby. So, try to take those growth scans with a grain of salt. As long as baby IS growing, don’t stress. Good doctors know this, and won’t try to scare you into thinking you can’t birth a baby due to size. It’s very rare for your body to grow a baby that is “too big”.

Every pregnancy is different

Even your own pregnancies will probably be different than the last. Every body is different. Every baby is different. And every journey is different. Don’t compare yourself to other people or their pregnancy experience. Yours will be different than theirs, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Creating a life is an amazing feat, no matter how you do it. The internet can be very overwhelming and full of misinformation. So, if you’re not comfortable looking there for answers, direct your questions and concerns to your doctor. They should be your go-to resource if you aren’t sure about something. And don’t be shy, they have heard it all and then some. Nothing you say will be a first for them… probably.

Also, a little fun fact: stretch marks are genetic for most people. So, keep that in mind when you see a flawless pregnant belly on social media. Good genes, or Photoshop, are probably involved. I know, it sucks that you can’t prevent stretch marks. If you’re going to get them, you’re going to get them. But, you can at least try to lessen the severity by keeping your skin moisturized. Try making this belly butter I used during my pregnancies. Yes, I still got stretch marks, but I like to think maybe it lessened the extent of them. And, it smells good too. LOL

Depression can happen during pregnancy

You may have heard of the “baby blues” or postpartum depression (PPD), but did you know it can happen before you have the baby? This is called antepartum depression. Pregnancy is supposed to be a blissful, amazing experience, right? Unfortunately for some, the physical and hormonal changes can have a negative effect, causing depression. It can happen to anyone, even if you don’t have a history of depression, and it could last the whole pregnancy, or just a few weeks of it. The best way to manage antepartum depression is to talk to your doctor about how you’re feeling. They can help you understand what is happening and how to manage it. You can find more information about antepartum depression here.

Obviously, this list could go on and on. These are just some of the most common issues/topics I’ve encountered or talked about with others, that I didn’t give much thought to until I was pregnant. Hope it was helpful!

xx,

Kirsten