The Bachelorette Week 11 Recap: Men Tell All

I haven’t figured out why they do this Men Tell All episode before the finale, but I guess that’s how The Bachelor works. Of course there’s red roses all around the set to remind the men that they didn’t get that red rose, and that’s why they’re here tonight. The show opened with promo talk about Bachelor In Paradise before cutting to a commercial. Yawn. I was doing that most of the show to be honest, in 2 hours (half of which was commercials) we didn’t really learn anything new, except that one of the guys will be on Bachelor in Paradise. Woo hoo?

After a long recap of the season (which was longer than necessary, we wouldn’t be watching this episode if we hadn’t watched all the others), as one of the most dramatic exits of the season, Ian was first to talk. Some guys disagree with ian (like Tanner who says “looks like princeton needs to teach a class on how to not be a dick”) and some guys agreed to an extent, particularly what he said about Kaitlyn (at least some guy named Corey does… and yes, i did not remember his name and you probably didn’t either, proving his relevance). Ian stands up to defend himself and takes center stage and gets on his knees and apologizes to all the men for what he said and how he acted. Apparently he realized that his exit made him look like the biggest super douche out there, so it would be in his best interest to make a full apology. He later gave her a “note” and he said he gave her one every week he was on the show so this was his final one. To be honest, it all sounded like the words of a mother, she probably scripted it for him after he received so much backlash for being an a-hole on national television.

Then the tune switched to the Clint and JJ bromance, and once again, this Corey guy is throwing in his two cents on this topic. He’s actually one of the few guys to talk that went home so early (he went home in NYC). Basically, Clint makes the point that he wasn’t there to make friends with the other guys, he just happened to have connection with JJ. While JJ goes on to say that they were “intellectually curious” about each other and there was “a lot of meat” in their relationship, and that the show created a story line about them that wasn’t so accurate.  Duh.

Kupah interrupts the recap of their lovefest to bring up “the other guy” aka Nick Viall, which was obviously the main topic of discussion most of the night. But it was funny to see how the guys that got kicked off earlier in the season totally hate that she brought Nick on (they obviously think they would have had a better chance if he hadn’t joined), whereas the guys who made it to Ireland understand that it was her choice and it was necessary and better for everyone that he came on. Again, nothing new, but it was interesting seeing that dynamic. When Kaitlyn came out on stage, Kupah brought it up again saying it wasn’t right bringing Nick on after she had told the them that her future husband was definitely in that group of guys. She calls Kuppah out on voting for Britt and makes a good point comparing those two situations.

Hot seat time:

JJ tells us nothing that we didn’t already know, but of course Corey interrupts to throw some more of his two cents into the pot… or to get more airtime. Chris did announc that JJ will be on Bachelor In Paradise. Umm… where does he find time to go on these reality shows when he has a 3 year old daughter at home that he’s “so serious” about?

The crowd (of mostly women) loves Ben Z. Throughout his recap, they kept showing women in the audience who were clearly shedding tears, frowning, etc. for Ben. Again, we didn’t learn anything new about him… He was completely blindsided when he didn’t receive that rose in Ireland. He thinks the funeral group date made him close up. Naturally, he opens up to her about his mother passing away, then she chooses him for the group date to speak at her pretend funeral… FYI- he still has not cried since his mother past away.

Jared finally decided to trim up his beard tonight so it didn’t look like a patchy teenage boy who just discovered a razor or like Steve Carell from The 40-Year-Old Virgin when he gets his chest hair partially waxed. Surprise, we didn’t learn anything new, but I discovered he’s only 26, just like Ben H., maybe others already knew that. We were reminded of what a classy exit he had from the show. Chris made sure to mention the fact that he obviously shaved after Chris previously called him out on the spotty beard. When Kaitlyn came out, she let him know that things wouldn’t have been different even they had had the cocktail hour the night he went home, so I guess he can drop that excuse now.

The ladies in the audience cheer even more for Ben H. than they did for Ben Z. He explained what happened when Kaitlyn visited his and Shawn’s room in Texas (where she told Shawn he was the one) – She snuck away from the cameras and into their room and talked to Ben and Shawn for 6 hours, when production came in to let them know they had an hour till they had to leave, they threw a blanket over her on the floor so no one saw her. When Kaitlyn came out on stage, his only question was  why she told Shawn about sleeping with Nick. She says she was scared Shawn was going to leave and that she was in a different type of relationship with him, and i totally understand what she means. Her relationship with Ben was much more innocent and not on the same type of level as her relationship with Shawn, not that their relationship wasn’t as good, but obviously she sent Ben home, so then maybe it wasn’t as good.

Kaitlyn came out in a very sparkly, very cutout mini dress, very similar to other dresses this season. She says hey to some guy names Ryan (the drunken “horned up” guy who left on day 1) up on stage…idk if he was in production or what? She revealed that she has gotten actual death threats for being “so controversial” this season. Chris read some nasty tweets and messages from cyberbullies, most of them calling her a whore. Luckily, it seems like she has very thick skin, but she says it affects her family more than her.

It ended with some not-so-hilarious bloopers: Joe peed in woods before he got sent home because he couldn’t hold it, a few of Kaitlyn’s interactions with pigeons, Chris Harrison hugged a stuffed swan, Amy Shumer calls JJ Colonel Sanders and says he needs to be punched in the face, a Sumo wrestler belly flops behind the sensitive guy (Tony), she spit while laughing because a bug got caught in her lipgloss.

Sorry it was so boring, and if you haven’t watched it yet, don’t bother! We will see what happens next week! I want to say I think she will pick Shawn, but I’m starting to think maybe she doesn’t pick either by something she says in the previews. But we will see! Who do you think she will pick, Shawn, Nick or neither?

xoxo,

Kirsten