Wedding Planning: What I Would Have Done Differently

Today I thought I would share some wedding planning advice I learned from planning my own wedding.  Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely loved my entire engagement and wedding, and I believe it was perfect exactly how it was. However, looking back, there are a few things I could have done to make things go even smoother. I’m one of those people that puts way too much thought into things, so most of these probably aren’t even a big deal to most people. Not all of these will apply to everyone, but here are the 6 things I would do differently if I could go back in time to planning my wedding.

1. Hire a day-of coordinator

Our venue provided an event coordinator that helped with pretty much everything, so I really debated the need to get a day of coordinator, and ultimately decided against it. I’m pretty organized so I figured between me and the venue coordinator, it would be fine. Unfortunately, I didn’t even realize that I would be completely pre-occupied all day getting ready, so my organization and coordination skills were not of any use on the day of. Nothing disastrous happened, but we did misplace the ring bearer’s pillows, and the up-lighting at the reception was not the color I would have chosen. Those are really my only two major comments that a day of coordinator could have resolved… I told you I put too much thought into things. We also were running pretty late for the reception due to photos, but I’m not sure a coordinator could have prevented that.

Even if your venue provides a coordinator, I would definitely recommend considering a day of coordinator as well. That way, you will have someone there just for you and not for you and the venue.

2. Plan enough time between the wedding and honeymoon

We stayed at our hotel on our wedding night, and our flight out was at 2pm the next day. When we booked these flights months before, I didn’t consider how rushed we might feel the day after the biggest day of our lives. Silly me. Luckily we are morning people, so we didn’t have a problem waking up early, but I did feel a little rushed to get to the airport (it didn’t help that I’m a last minute packer…even for my honeymoon) I even almost forgot my brand new camera that was my husband’s wedding gift to me, so we had to turn around to go back to get it. We did manage to make our flight in time, luckily. We flew to Las Vegas for the night to break up our trip, so it all worked out perfectly; but a day of relaxing and getting ready would have been nice.

It will be really exciting actually booking your honeymoon months before the wedding, it is your first vacation as a married couple after all. But keep in mind that even though you think you’ll just want to jump on a plane and leave, you will be doing yourselves a favor if you plan for at least 12 hours of the next day to relax and go through gifts and pack at the last minute (if you’re like me).

3. Give your bridesmaids guidance

I love all of the girls that were in my wedding, but as the first person in my group of friends to get married, I should have been more vocal to all of them about what I wanted instead of hoping they would just know what I wanted. It’s always tricky when you throw a handful of girls together who aren’t already all BFFs, and that’s what most bridal parties consist of. Going back to the fact that I put too much thought into things- one of the most stressful parts of my entire wedding planning process was the bachelorette party, that I shouldn’t have even been a part of planning. Partly my fault, partly not. I still had a great bachelorette though, and it all worked out in the end.

If you want something from your bridal party, just flat out tell them, nicely though. Your wedding and engagement are about you and your fiancé, so don’t let “girl drama” get in the way of that. Remember that your bridesmaids are supposed to be there for you, and if it starts turning into their show about their problems, don’t be afraid to say something. (But try not to go total bridezilla, because then you won’t have any friends.)

4. Don’t put the gift table by the door

After we returned from our honeymoon, we discovered that several cards were stolen from our gift table. We had a large bird cage on the table for cards. I picked the bird cage because I thought it would be more secure and would prevent this from happening. When I specifically voiced my concern about gifts getting stolen at a meeting with the venue’s coordinator, she assured me that there was nothing to be worried about. I read several horror stories online about gifts being stolen on a couple’s special day, but I trusted the coordinator enough to just say okay. So, this one wasn’t necessarily my doing, as the venue coordinator said the table usually goes near the exit. We were very upset to hear that quite a bit of money was stolen, and most of it was cash, so nothing could be done. Luckily, I believe that karma is a b*tch and I am confident that whoever stole our gifts will be getting a visit from her eventually.

If you are having a gift table, don’t put it in a location near an exit. Any random, nicely dressed person could just walk into your reception and snatch a few things and leave without anyone thinking anything of it. And as I have learned, it wouldn’t be beneath some people to do that.

5. Tell your photographer what your expectations are

Our photographers were awesome, and they’ve shot hundreds of weddings, so I didn’t think we needed to give them specific directions for what we wanted. After looking back at our photos from our wedding day, there are a few shots that I wish we had. First, we had about 120 guests at our wedding and unfortunately we didn’t actually get to talk to everyone at the reception, and we don’t have pictures of a lot of the guests. I understand some guests don’t want pictures, but pictures of each table would have been a nice reminder of who all was there celebrating with us, as opposed to most of our pictures being the few dozens of people who actually wanted to be photographed or were on the dance floor.

Also, my individual bridal shots are all indoors in the suite we got ready in, and I would have really liked some shots outside, but I understand that the bride is supposed to be “hidden” until the ceremony, and it was a little hot outside so they didn’t want my hair or makeup to get messed up. This is something I never gave thought to until after the wedding. The guys got plenty of outdoor shots and other shots around the historic hotel, so I’m still pretty jealous.

Just like with your bridal party, if you want something specific from your photographer or any other vendors, make sure you tell them exactly what you want in advance, they aren’t mind readers. Otherwise, you might look back and wish you had pictures of certain parts of your wedding day.

6. Don’t stress about the small things

Early on in the wedding planning process, I asked my fiancé to give me his invite list so we knew what kind of guest count we would be working with. I figured he would have a pretty good idea about everyone we would need to invite, so I just took his list and went off of that. Then, as we were getting into sending save the dates, we asked our parents if there was anyone else they wanted to add, thinking it’d be only a handful of people. We were wrong; he had missed about 45 people. Normally that wouldn’t seem like a lot, but in the wedding world, that number drastically changes a budget. I got pretty stressed out about it and had a few “discussions” with my fiancé regarding the list, but my Mother in Law and fiancé both assured me most of those guests probably wouldn’t be able to attend anyways. In the end, of course they were right, and we still ended up with my “perfect number” of guests that I wanted to begin with.

Some things might seem like such a big deal when you’re planning, but try to remember that it will all work itself out, and it isn’t worth getting in arguments over petty things. In the long run, this day is supposed to be all about you and your fiancé, and the joining of two families. By the end of the wedding planning process, I was a lot more relaxed about everything and realized that as long as we were both there to say “I do” that everything else would be fine, and it was!

At the end of the day…

I honestly have zero complaints about our wedding day. It was the most perfect day, and I’m so grateful for everyone that was a part of it. Though I do believe that there is always room for improvement, and this list is just some minor after-the-fact thoughts that I’ve had and wanted to share with anyone who may be getting married soon because they are all fairly simple to avoid.

If you are currently engaged, just enjoy the process, this is the only time you’ll get to plan your first wedding (see what I did there?) and you will have the most beautiful day of your life! Good luck, and if you have any questions, I am more than happy to answer!

xx,

Kirsten